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Best of ‘Confucius Says’ Jokes

I was on Digg.com last night and came upon some hilarious comments involving Confucius jokes. Seriously, Digg is endless entertainment. Even the comments from Digg members are hilarious.

Here, I present you the Best of ‘Confucius Says’ Jokes!

Confucius Says:

“Man who drop watch in toilet have shitty time.”

“Baseball is wrong.  Man with four balls cannot walk.”

“Man who bounce woman on bedspring this spring, have offspring next spring.”

“A man with his hands in pockets feel cocky.”

“He who fish in other mans well often catches crabs.”

“If you want pretty nurse, you got to be patient.”

“Man who put cock on stove have hot rod.”

LOL

Peter Kao

Effective Ways to Advertise to Students

I’m currently working on the marketing strategy for an upcoming University of Waterloo event - Yahoo’s Hack U and thought I would share with you a list of ways to advertise to students that I wrote up:

 

This is a compilation of very inexpensive but effective ways to advertise to students. Luckily, university (and college) students are fairly easy to market to since they spend a large amount of time in specific areas of the school. Students are also constantly seeking out ways to take their minds off of school. So, an ad that is displayed through offbeat methods (such as painting a giant rock, slapping an URL on it and dropping it near campus) can create strong and memorable messages, even for busy-minded students.

Without any more blabbering, here they are:

 

Conventional Methods

 

1) Plug it Everywhere

Your emails, MSN status, Facebook status, Twitter, Gtalk status, whatever. Plug a one-liner anywhere you can to maximize visibility. If you use any of the above and I’m sure you do, chances are your friends do too. The above list are all communication tools, so if your friends see it they can easily ask you what the product/service/event is about.

2) Power of a Website

Everyone uses the internet. Everyone. Websites are great ways to inform students in an engaging and non-intrusive manner, and additionally, advertisers can also see what messages work and what doesn’t by using analytic software such as Google Analytics and fine tune their advertising.

2a) Tell-a-Friend

With easy to install plugins like Sharethis, visitors of the website can share the contents of the website with their friends.

2b) Keepin’ Connected – 24/7

Again, plugins work wonders. Use a Twitter plugin to broadcast current happenings to let late-comers know that it’s not over yet!

3) Making Friends with Student Groups

Student groups such as class groups or clubs are easy to target. If you wish to promote an event relating to Application/Software development, ask a Computer Science class representative or a local hacker club leader to make a short mention.

4) School Paper

Active students read it. Enough said. All you need is a small mention, which is fairly easy to do if you’re advertising something that’s school-related. 

5) Hierarchy of Power  

Big fish eats small fish. Small fish eat some weird crap that’s smaller than them. Weird crap just floats around polluting the environment. Similarly, teachers eat students and students each some of the sickest crap on the planet. Anyways, the point is that students listen to teachers most of the time and that you can get the message across by broadcasting it in class.

 

Creative and Offbeat Methods

 

1) Chalkin’ the Campus

Students are always on the move, but the good thing is that they usually take the same paths into, through and out of school. Lighten up their scenery and put something new in their paths. They will surely notice that big pasty looking message in the middle of the path that they take every day. Oh, did I mention chalk is cheap? $4 for a bucket of it.

2) Door-hangers…for Doors

Where do students live? Simple, they’re in school residences or are living off-campus. Either way, they are living underneath a roof with a door (hopefully). Door-hangers have practically guaranteed presence. Think about it, you can’t leave the house without using the door! At least that holds true for us normal folks.

3) Man with a Stick

Imagine for a second. You are on the way to school and are already 10 minutes late. You’re walking so fast that people around you suspect you’re doing your power walk exercise (but you only do that after school). As you enter the school you see a guy holding a giant sign. One lone guy, with a sign. Your first thought would be on similar lines as, “What the Frig?” Then, you’ll slow down from your exercise, er fast walk, and look at the sign because it is so weird. Substitute man with a stick, with girl with a stick to make things even weirder.

 

You gotta have some fun while working ;)

Peter Kao

HOWTO: Configure Microsoft Exchange and Outlook Web Access for Thunderbird

PLEASE READ:

If you have a problem with the add-on, please contact the guys over at http://groups.google.com/group/thunderbird-webmail-extension They will be able to help you more than I can. They’re the developers of this add-on.

Microsoft has an amazing way of wasting my time. See Microsoft Atlas Cheats on Online Reach Prediction Research Paper and Wow, My Windows Vista Self-Destructed.

It took me a full hour to configure my Microsoft Exchange/OWA email account for Thunderbird and lucky for you I wrote a set of easy instructions for you to follow!

1) First download the WebMail Thunderbird add-on (ex. Web-Mail-x.x.x) which will help you connect your Thunderbird to your web-based email accounts (ex. Gmail)

Note: If you’re new to installing add-on’s for Thunderbird, simply right-click the link that leads to the add-on and select “Save Link As…” Then, go to Tools in Thunderbird followed by a visit to Add-Ons, then to Install on the bottom.

2) After installing it, you’ll need an add-on for the add-on. Sounds funny doesn’t it? You can download it here. There will be a list of add-on’s that you can choose from (there’s even one for Gmail), but for our purposes download and install the file that starts with ‘owa’. The installation should be the same as for any Thunderbird add-on. This time, you will need to restart your Thunderbird for the add-on’s to initiate.

3) We now need to configure the Webmail add-on’s add-on. Go to Tools -> Add-ons, select Webmail-OWA and click Options. Visit the Domains tab and click Add.

In the Domain field, enter whatever follows at the end of the @ symbol of your email address (ex. gmail.com)

In the URI field, enter the URI of the Outlook Web Access address (ex. http://www.yourwebsite.com/exchange or http://mail.yourwebsite.com)

4) Now you’re ready to start creating your account (Tools -> Account Settings -> Add Account) . When presented with the new window, select Webmail as the account type and set youremail@yourwebsite.com as the Incoming User Name. Hit Finish when you’re done.

5) Go back to the Webmail add-on’s add-on option screen (Tools -> Add-ons, select Webmail-OWA and click Options) and now access the Accounts tab. If you had set up everything correctly in the step above, you should see your recently created account. There are additional settings there that might need tinkering and depending on how your Microsoft Exchange was set up you might not need to change anything at all. If your account can’t connect to the server, then just come back and select some of the options. Unfortunately, trial-and-error is the only way here.

6) At this point, you should be able to read emails. In order to write emails, go to Account Settings again (Tools -> Account Setting) and click Outgoing Server (SMTP). On the top right-side, hit Add…

In the Description field: Enter the name that will describe this account. (ex. Gmail Account)

In the Server Name field: Enter ‘localhost’

Port should be set to the default of ‘25′

Check the User name and password box, and type in your User Name in full (ex. youremail@yourwebsite.com)

Leave the rest alone and hit OK.

7) Last step! With the Account Settings window still open. Click on your Web Mail account and in the Outgoing Server (SMTP) drop-down, select the description name you provided in the step above and voila! You’re done!

A little bit complicated if you ask me, but it’s all worth it. You can now use Microsoft Exchange or your Outlook Web Access account on Thunderbird!

How’s that for my first tutorial?

Peter Kao

I’m now Impact’s Co-Director of External Communications

Impact Entrepreneurship Group

Finally! I’m part of Impact, which is of course Canada’s largest student-run entrepreneurship group.

After they wow’d me at the Leadership Conference in 2007, I’ve been wanting to join a group that shares the same goal of helping fellow entrepreneurs and aspiring entrepreneur with all things surrounding entrepreneurship and start ups.

I’m proud to be part of the team and I can’t wait to help out on the side of marketing!

Peter Kao

The Letter “I” and Why It’s Capitalized

I came across an interesting article today: http://www.nytimes.com/2008/08/03/magazine/03wwln-guestsafire-t.html?_r=1&oref=slogin

The article explains the reason why we capitalize the single letter ‘I’.

Not going to spoil it for you.

Go have a read for yourself

Peter Kao

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Before you go

Going so soon? May these links be a guide to web enlightenment. Schwing!